It Falls Right Into Place, You're All it Takes
by Aranelle
Summary: James is having trouble coming to terms with his sexuality. Carlos helps him realise it's not all that hard.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: James is having trouble coming to terms with his sexuality. Carlos helps him realise it's not all that hard.

**A/N: James/Carlos with a side of Kendall/Logan, because I swear they're both so canon I can't write one without the other. Title from Miranda Cosgrove's "Kissin U."**

James was fourteen when he had his first kiss. Her name was Lucy, and she was in his pre-algebra class. She was pretty and smelled nice and James couldn't believe his luck that she wanted _him_. She pulled him into a deserted hallway after class one day and batted her eyelashes at him before leaning in and pressing her lips against his. The funny thing was that the kiss wasn't anything special; it was just awkward - their noses bumped, the angle was wrong, and there was no _spark_. James chalked it up to nerves, but Lucy didn't try to kiss him again after that.

James's next real kiss was later that school year. He'd been working up the nerve to ask Carly to the Homecoming dance for weeks, and when she said yes he felt like he was walking on air. The first thing he did was tell Carlos, Kendall and Logan, who all clapped him on the back and told him it was about time. They spent the whole night laughing and holding hands, and when James finally leaned in to kiss her it felt like the perfect end to the perfect night. And then, well. The spark still wasn't really there, so he tried again. Carly seemed to feel it, kissing him eagerly, but all James felt was a big fat nothing. He apologised after he took Carly home that night, and didn't call her again, because if it wasn't right, it wasn't right. He knew it wasn't.

James decided the best way to deal with this was to find as many girls as possible to kiss. By the time he was sixteen he'd perfected his skills, and had kissed at least twice as many girls as anyone else he knew. He thought he felt that spark once or twice, which meant he must have been doing _something_ right, so he kept it up, earning a reputation as one of the best kissers in school.

Two years later James is in Hollywood, living his dream of being a singer. He also thinks he might have finally figured out why kissing girls never felt right (because if he's honest with himself it never did, and he definitely hasn't been avoiding thinking about this, not at all), and he's pretty sure he's never been more freaked out in his life. He's noticed more and more that he's never really attracted to girls. Sure, he still thinks girls are pretty and soft and amazing, but more and more he catches himself staring at other guys, and it's only gotten worse since they've moved to California.

He tries to brush it off as just admiration and possible jealousy; some of the guys hanging around are exactly where he wishes he was right now, but when he catches himself admiring the biceps of the guy in the apartment down the hall he knows it's definitely something more than just jealousy. He's supposed to be the heartthrob of his group of friends, the pretty one that gets all the girls and marries a supermodel. So why does he keep catching himself _checking out other guys_? It is not supposed to happen this way. James wonders how the guys would react if he told them.

James thinks Carlos might be catching on to the fact that James is having a mini freak out, because Carlos stares at him sometimes when he thinks James isn't looking, concern all over his face. James pointedly ignores this and continues to try to get as many girls as possible.

It's when Kendall and Logan announce a week later that they're dating that James starts to really wonder why he's having such a hard time with this whole attracted-to-guys thing. Obviously he doesn't have to worry about whether or not his friends will accept him, and Mrs. Knight seems like she knew this was coming anyway, so he's not really sure what his hangup is. His stomach feels like it's trying to worm its way out of his abdomen by backflipping, which means he has a hard time expressing the same enthusiasm for Kendall and Logan as Carlos. Logan gives him a strange, almost hurt look before he and Kendall leave to go see a movie, and that's just great. James wants to run away like a little kid to bury his face in his hands because Logan probably thinks James hates him. _If only he really knew_, James thinks bitterly.


	2. Chapter 2

Carlos isn't surprised when Kendall and Logan come out - hell, he's just glad they're finally done dancing around each other. He knows they'll be happy, and that's the important part. James though, that's another story. Carlos wonders if James is going to throw up; the smile plastered on his face is so fake it's like he's wearing a mask, and he's talking like his tongue is tied in a knot. He's also been acting really weird lately, Carlos thinks. He's been going out of his way to get dates with pretty girls, and while that's exactly like James, Carlos thinks there's been something different about it within the past few weeks. Like he's desperate, almost, to prove something. Carlos isn't sure whether it's James trying to prove something to himself or to the people he thinks are watching.

Carlos was pretty sure confronting James about it wouldn't have worked, so he decided the best thing to do was to watch James, to see if he could figure out why James is acting like his world is falling apart. He made sure to let James catch him watching a few times, hoping that if James knew Carlos was worried about him it might have gotten him to talk about it. James never did, so Carlos kept watching, waiting for James to either have a total meltdown or open up. He wishes he wasn't anticipating a meltdown.

Carlos is almost completely positive James thinks he's doing a good job of hiding how much he's freaking out about…whatever, but Carlos knows him better than that. They haven't all been friends forever for nothing, after all. So Carlos watches one day as James flirts with all the pretty girls when they're down at the pool, watches as he flutters his eyelashes just right to make them all swoon, and watches as he flashes his perfect smile before leaning in to kiss them. He's good, Carlos admits.

Once the girls are gone though, it's a different story. James looks pained for a moment before he carefully rearranges his features into arrogance and nonchalance, and Carlos sees his eyes dart to the pool, raking over the body of the guy down the hall that Carlos swears must work out for the majority of the time he's awake (Carlos wants to tell him there's such a thing as too much exercise). Carlos's eyes widen a little as he sees James's carefully schooled expression change to panic/disgust/defeat before snapping back to indifferent as he wrenches his eyes away.

After that…well, the answer's right there. Carlos is pretty sure he knows what James's problem is. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out, after all, which is good because Carlos isn't Logan. He isn't sure how to help James yet, though, so he settles for watching him more.

The thing is, Carlos thinks, is that James is too concerned with appearances. James spends so much time worrying about how he looks and how other people _think_ he looks that Carlos is amazed he has time to think about anything else. Things like that have never been an issue for Carlos, and he likes it that way. He's sure James is having a…sexual identity crisis, he thinks it might be called. (Logan would know, but Carlos isn't going to ask him, not yet anyway.) He can't quite put his finger on why James would be freaking out about this so much - clearly, everyone in their immediate circle of friends and family wouldn't care, because Kendall and Logan already did the whole "coming out" thing…and anyone that's not in their immediate circle isn't worth bothering about, not if they have a problem. That must not be it then.

It takes Carlos another few weeks before he's positive he's right about James and his sexual identity crisis. Funnily enough, Logan helps confirm that for him. Logan comes into his room one morning, shutting the door and plopping down on Carlos's bed. He looks miserable, and Carlos wonders if maybe he and Kendall had an argument.

Logan sighs, and Carlos comes over to sit next to him on the bed, slinging a comforting arm around his shoulders.

"Can I ask you something?" Logan asks, turning to face Carlos.

"Sure," Carlos replies, letting his arm drop from Logan's shoulders, "everything okay?" Logan sighs again.

"Not really," he says, "I think James hates me." This is so ridiculous to Carlos that he laughs out loud before he realises it. Logan glares at him, and Carlos holds up his hands in apology.

"Sorry, I wasn't laughing at you," he says easily, "I was laughing at you thinking James hates you." He pulls his legs up underneath him before continuing. Logan raises an eyebrow.

"Logan, man, James doesn't hate you," Carlos says, still smiling, "he's terrified, and he's jealous of how easy this is for you." Logan frowns.

"How easy what is?" he asks. Carlos wants to roll his eyes, because Logan is seriously oblivious sometimes for being the smart one.

"You and Kendall, idiot," he says, punctuating his words with a light punch to Logan's shoulder. "James has been checking out guys here for _weeks_, and he's been making himself crazy over it."

"_Seriously?_" Logan asks, shocked. "How do you know?"

"Because I've been watching him," Carlos says simply. "He's making himself nuts over this whole thing, and I've been trying to let him know I'm here if he wants to talk about it, but so far he's been avoiding me." Logan is staring at Carlos like a deer caught in headlights, which is funny, so Carlos laughs again.

"Seriously Logan, I'm not joking," he says, grinning, "James is having a sexual identity crisis and thinks none of us noticed." Logan considers this for a few minutes before laughing a little himself.

"So that's why he looked like he was about to puke on me when Kendall and I came out?" he asks, laughing harder, "I feel so stupid now." Carlos is laughing now too, and he wonders if he might not be a little crazed at this point, because he feels like this is way too serious to be laughing about. Logan pauses abruptly for a second before staring at Carlos like he's grown an extra eye or something.

"Wait," Logan says slowly, "you know what a sexual identity crisis is?" Carlos pushes Logan over on the bed.

"I'm not stupid, Logan," he says, still laughing, "I can use the internet to look things up." Logan starts laughing again and sits up, looking entirely amused.

"You know, now that I think about it, you're totally right," Logan says, sobering up a little now, "so what do we do about it?"

"I'm not sure," Carlos admits, frowning. "I have a feeling he's not going to be willing to talk about it, he's too wound up over liking guys." Carlos is really glad Logan's here helping him with this now, because he really didn't have a plan beyond watching James.

"Maybe," Logan hedges, "maybe he needs someone to _show_ him this isn't a big deal. Like, I don't know, find someone to show him, somehow, that liking guys isn't all bad?" Logan looks unsure of this idea, but Carlos thinks it might actually work. Carlos also thinks he might be the perfect person to help James get over his fear, or whatever, of being gay, because Carlos is pretty much an equal opportunist when it comes to dating. James is his best friend and Carlos loves him, so, yeah, he's pretty much the ideal person to help James realise being gay is not worth brain hemorrhages, strokes, or whatever else James is working up to. Plus, James is kind of hot, so that's a perk. He grins at Logan.

"That's a great idea," he says. "I think I can do it."

"_You?_" Logan asks, eyes bugging out a little, "you're not even gay!" Carlos laughs.

"Says you," he counters, eyes sparkling, "maybe you don't know everything about me Logan." Logan's expression is possibly the funniest thing Carlos has seen, because he's pretty sure Logan is wondering if the whole world has turned gay. Carlos pats him on the shoulder before standing up.

"I'm going to go put my plan into action," he says, picking his helmet up off the dresser and plopping it on his head, "try not to hurt yourself thinking." Logan glares at him as he leaves, and Carlos grins.


	3. Chapter 3

James is sitting out by the pool, dozing off, when he feels a shadow over his eyes. He opens them to see Carlos standing in front of him, helmet on his head and a smirk plastered all over his face. James groans inwardly, this can only mean that Carlos has some half formed plan in his head that will more than likely end up in bruises. Carlos reaches down and grabs James's hand and tugs on him until he's sitting up, and then forcibly pulls him to his feet. James wrenches his hand from Carlos's grip, annoyed.

"Dude, what the hell?" he snarls, the words sounding a lot more angry than he'd intended, "I was enjoying my nap by the pool!" Carlos just keeps smirking and grabs James's hand, dragging him into the lobby. He deposits James into a chair and sits down next to him.

"James, we need to talk," he says, still smirking, "I know why you've been freaking out so much lately." James starts to panic a little at that, because judging from the look on Carlos's face he's figured everything out. James stands up and starts to walk out of the lobby, heading for the elevators. Carlos follows him though, and James turns and makes for the stairwell instead. He tries to shut the door before Carlos gets in behind him, but he's not quite fast enough. Carlos sticks his hand in just as James is about to shut the door and pulls it back open, still smirking. James kind of wants to punch him right now. He turns away, facing the staircase.

Carlos shuts the door behind them before grabbing James by the wrist, hard enough to keep him from running away, but not hard enough to actually hurt. He swivels James around until he's facing Carlos, smirk gone. If James didn't know better he'd say Carlos looked _concerned_.

"Okay James," Carlos sighs, "if you really want to leave you can, but can we please just talk about this first?" James feels the beginnings of panic creep up on him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he protests, hoping maybe if he denies it enough Carlos will leave it alone. He won't, of course, but James has to try.

"I'm not an idiot James," Carlos says, sighing again, "I know you've been making yourself crazy for almost a month now because you're worried you might be gay." James is definitely panicking now, and his voice sounds completely weird and not his when he opens his mouth.

"W-what? I'm not gay, that's ridiculous!" he says, knowing he's screwed before he even starts. Carlos raises his eyebrows and it's like a dam bursts inside of James, and before he really realises it he's shouting.

"Okay, fine! You want the truth?" he asks, advancing on Carlos. "I don't _think_ I'm gay, I know it! And yeah, maybe I'm freaking out a little bit, but I think I have good reason to!" Carlos just stands there, listening, and James finds he can't stop now that he's started. He laughs humorlessly.

"I'm freaking out because this? This isn't how my life is supposed to go - I'm supposed to be the girl magnet, get married to a _girl_ and I haven't found one girl that does it for me the way guys do!" Carlos takes a step closer to him and gently puts a hand on his shoulder, pulling him in the rest of the way and wrapping his arms around James.

"It's not that big of a deal, you know," he whispers into James's ear, "Kendall and Logan already broke the ice by coming out first, no one will care if you do." James pulls back to look Carlos in the eyes and laughs bitterly again.

"Yeah, well that doesn't really help much Carlos, because it doesn't change the fact that I'm gay!" James feels himself panicking again and Carlos must see it too, because he takes a few steps back to give James some space.

"So what?" Carlos asks, like it's not a Big Fucking Deal, "I've known I swing both ways since I can't remember when." James is sure he's going crazy now, because he's pretty sure Carlos just said he was bisexual.

"Yeah, well…wait, what?" he says, completely thrown off track, "you're bisexual?"

"Yeah," Carlos replies, shrugging, "it's not a big deal. I get the best of both worlds then, you know?" James is pretty sure he must've fallen down some stairs and hit his head or something, because the world feels like it's flipped on its axis. He leans against the railing for support, knuckles turning white as he grips it. Carlos steps forward and grabs his elbow, easing him into a sitting position. James hides his face in his hands.

"I just don't understand how this is so _easy_ for you," he whispers. Carlos chuckles and gently tilts James's face up so he's looking Carlos in the eye.

"It doesn't have to be hard," he says, smiling, "you're just making it that way. Just relax and stop _thinking_ about it so much." James lets out a little hysterical laugh, because if it was really that easy to stop thinking about this he would have gladly done it a long time ago. Carlos rolls his eyes and sighs in exasperation before leaning forward to press his lips against James's firmly.

It's like something clicks in James. He feels the world right itself, and it's there…_the spark_. But before he has a chance to really react Carlos is pulling back, smirking. James gapes at him.

"What…what was that?" he manages. Carlos looks ridiculously pleased with himself, and James can't decide if he wants to hit Carlos for pulling away too soon or kiss him, because that was easily the best kiss of his life and he's pretty sure he wants to experience it again.

He reaches out and tugs Carlos towards him again, pressing their lips together. Carlos's hands come up to cup his face and James moans a little, pulling Carlos even closer, until he's practically in James's lap. Their tongues tangle and James wonders vaguely why he was so worried about liking guys because this? This is _fantastic_. Carlos pulls back again, gasping for breath, helmet askew and looking thoroughly debauched. He grins at James.

"I told you it didn't have to be that hard," Carlos says, "you just had to stop thinking about it." James laughs a little.

"I don't think one kiss, however awesome, will fix everything," he says, smirking, "maybe we should try again?" Carlos laughs and seals his mouth over James's again, clearly happy to indulge him.


	4. Chapter 4

They make it back to their apartment later that evening and Carlos flops down onto the couch, still grinning to himself. That didn't go quite the way he'd planned, but he thinks he's helped James, and that's the important part. James sits down next to him and clears his throat softly, turning to face Carlos. He looks nervous, Carlos thinks.

"So…what happened earlier," James says, hesitant, "is that going to be, like, a regular thing?" Carlos thinks about this for a moment before responding. He's never had a serious relationship before, but James, well, James is different. That kiss earlier…he's never felt something like that before.

"Yeah," he says, grinning, "if you want it to be." James's face lights up, which is possibly the most adorable thing Carlos has ever seen. James leaps forward and presses his mouth against Carlos's again, and Carlos can _feel_ the giant smile plastered on his face.

"I take it you do?" he asks, knowing the answer already. James grins at him.

"Yeah, I do," he says, eyes sparkling, "this is still hard for me to really accept, but it's _easy_ with you. It hasn't ever been easy before."

"Good," Carlos replies, brushing his lips against James's, "I told you it wasn't that hard." James laughs again, and Carlos thinks he needs to make James laugh as much as possible, because it's pretty much the best thing ever. James stops laughing abruptly though, and stands up, pulling Carlos with him.

"I just remembered something," James says, dragging Carlos out of the room and into the elevator. He hits the button for the pool and as as soon as the doors close he turns to Carlos, apologetic.

"I need to apologise to Logan," he explains, and then Carlos remembers James's reaction to Kendall and Logan's announcement a few weeks ago. Logan pointedly avoided James after that, and Carlos is sure James must have noticed, at least on some level. He's glad James is taking the first step and going to Logan instead of the other way around, because Carlos is pretty sure this means James is getting closer to being okay with all of this.

They find Kendall and Logan lounging by the pool, and James heads straight for Logan, and Carlos watches as James drags Logan up out of the chair and hauls him off to a more private area. James is getting there, Carlos thinks, as he sits down on the end Logan's vacant lounge chair. He glances over at Kendall, who looks more than a little annoyed at James's abduction of his boyfriend.

"Relax dude, he's not stealing him," Carlos says, chuckling at Kendall's expression, "he just wants to apologise for being a dick when you two told us you were dating."

"He does?" Kendall asks, surprised, "Logan was so sure he hated us." Carlos and Kendall look over to where James and Logan are sitting, and Logan is beaming. Carlos figures this is a good sign and turns back to Kendall.

"No way," he says, grinning, "he was having a hard time coming to terms with some of his own stuff, and seeing you and Logan having such an easy time of it really got to him." James and Logan are back now, and James plops down next to Carlos. He clears his throat, looking nervous.

"Kendall, man, I feel like I owe you an apology too," James says, turning to face Kendall, "I was a dick. I just couldn't handle you and Logan having such an easy time with…dating each other and being gay and everything, not when I was having such a hard time with it." Kendall's mouth is hanging open a little, and Carlos remembers how his mom used to tell him he'd catch flies doing that when he was little (which, of course, made him try to catch them).

"So I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Logan," James continues, looking a little uncomfortable now, "I'm gay. I've been avoiding it for years now, but I'm tired of making myself crazy over it. And I'm sorry I was such a jerk when you and Logan came out. I just got a little overwhelmed." James is looking at the ground now, and Carlos puts an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. James melts into Carlos like he can hide from everyone in the crook of Carlos's neck, and Carlos can feel him shaking a little.

"Are you guys, like, a couple now or something?" Kendall asks, eyebrows raised and a grin on his face. "because we could totally double date then." Carlos grins to himself. They can always count on Kendall to make everything all right, and Kendall's done just that with the double date suggestion. It's like the rest of it wasn't even worth mentioning, the important part was that they'll still all be best friends, that they'll still be together. James looks up at Kendall, and grins.

"Dude, that was possibly the gayest thing you've ever said," he says, laughing, "but yes, we are. And I guess we could double date if you _really_ want to." Kendall laughs and grabs James, throwing him into the pool. Carlos and Logan watch as James climbs out of the pool and drags Kendall in with him, making sure to "accidentally" hold him underwater. And just like that, everything is back to normal. Or as normal as they get, anyway, Carlos thinks.


End file.
